It's been too long

I have no excuses except that I don't want to tell you all that I have gained weight.  I could blame the injury but it is still my own fault.  In a nutshell, I fell off the wagon.  I fell into the "ordering out" routine, discovered cake vodka (which means sodatoo) and went back to my coffees in the morning.  Does depression play a role?  Sure.  But I know that I am an emotional eater and therefore I should be able to see it.  So, what am I going to do about it?

Since last week I have been packing my lunches--salads, cottage cheese, veggies, etc.  I am drinking more water, or trying to.  I still need to find a way to deal with the pain.  I laugh and say 4 ibuprofen and a glass of wine.  But in reality, that's what I have been doing.  I need to try to deal with the pain better.  I have a gym membership that I would like to try to use.  I'm a little scared but if I concentrate on upper body, I should be ok.

I think that I need to focus more.  I have been dealing with everything halfheartedly and going along as if everything is blurred.  I think it was how I coped with the injury and the depression that inevitably comes with it.  If you don't look, you won't see.   However, it's time.  I need to step back out into my own life and reclaim it.  

I'm still down about 36 lbs.  I want to be the person I was turning into before I fell.  I kind of liked her.  I just have to find her again.  And get her back into heels!!