Freak Of Nature Syndrome
If you have it, you have my utmost sympathies. It is a miserable thing. It is like living with a Murphy’s Law that never ends. For instance, I had ridiculous pain in my right hip many years ago. It turns out the blood flow to the bone quit and the ball joint, the actual bone, died. It crumbled and I had to have it replaced. It was a disease called avascular necrosis. (One Dr. told me to Google AVN—don’t do that!! It is short for adult video network!) No clue why it showed up. Quite possibly steroid use. I have never used steroids or had any breathing problems as a kid. Even farther back than that was the tumor they found on my liver when taking out my gall bladder. Again, quite possibly steroid use. They took me off birth control and the darn thing went away. Go figure?! When the dog knocked me over I broke my pelvis. Do I have osteoporosis? Nope. You would have thought I would have broken the fake hip but that would have gone against everything FONS is about. Currently I am dealing with pain in my left hip. I had it checked and avascular necrosis (not AVN!!) has set in on this side as well. Because FONS knows I have overcome this problem already it added a little something for me. When I healed from the pelvic break, I healed a little tiny bit crooked. The right hip, that I had replaced 6 years ago, now clicks and squeaks. It doesn’t hurt but is horribly embarrassing. I’ll be walking along and someone will say “Can you hear that?” I have to say that it is me. The silicone pad inside the joint needs to be replaced with a thicker one and that should stop the squeak. I can have them both fixed but since I had to use all my PTO and short term disability last year, it will be another year or more of pain until I can afford to take a month off.
I am not the only one in the family who has FONS. Both of my sisters have it and a rash of cousins as well. It will cause you to step wrong and be on crutches for 2 weeks with your ankle in a boot. It is the source of all digestive issues that seemingly have no source.
It also has nonmedical properties. For example if you are trying to put a hospital style potty seat on legs into a dumpster and you lift it over your head, the lid will inevitably slam you in the face. That happened to my sister. I have lit my hair on fire by walking past a candle. I lost 5 inches of hair that way. It was definitely the stinkiest haircut I have ever had. FONS is the reason I can’t take cold medicine or pain meds. Cold medicines make me vibrate instead of resting and pain meds intensify the pain instead of dulling it. FONS is what makes me trip when there is nothing to trip over.
Also, FONS is transferrable. It can migrate to a different person for a while. But don't worry it has been proven to return.
I also think FONS is what makes my shoulders, knees, thumbs and random other joints and body parts ache and hurt when the weather gets cold or damp or it’s night time or day time… OK, it might not be, but that’s my story and I’m sticking to it!
My latest nightmare is something that many people get-Vertigo. The first time I had it was about 5 years ago and it lasted 6 weeks. It got so bad that I went to Dr.s, chiropractors and even physical therapy. I had to walk with a hand on the wall and it still looked like I was drunk. I have it again. Thankfully, this time isn’t that bad. Sometimes I will look up at something and everything spins and I can’t bend over without everything spinning either. The act of going from sitting to lying down usually is the worst. The other night, I am in bed, lying on my back (spinning has stopped) and Rylee comes in and sits on the bed and starts talking to me. As we are chatting, I roll toward her. The room took off so violently that I thought I was falling out of bed! I reached out and grabbed Rylee’s arm. When the room stopped, she was just staring at me. Then I got the giggles because the look on her face was priceless. Her room didn’t spin and her mom didn’t fall. Her mom just randomly and harshly grabbed her and let out a little yelp. I had to explain to her what had happened and then she laughed with me. I think she thought I was losing it for a second.
Today I went to a different chiropractor. I have a sacroiliac joint that pops out of place (yep, FONS) and she can bump it back in with no trouble at all. Her first comment was "what's been going on? There's a lot less of you and you cut your hair". I ended up doing the quick version of my 4 months of hell. She adjusted the joint that pains me and then I asked her how she was with vertigo and if she wanted to give it a try. She adjusted my neck-holy wowza!-and went on to do a couple quick moves. When I sat up, the pressure in my ear had changed. I haven't laid down yet but I have a good feeling.
I unpacked my hutch today. Going to donate it to the church to sell and use the money to send kids to camp and other programs. It leaves at the end of the week. I hope it brings in some decent money for them.
I'm out of here for tonight. Rylee should be home soon and it is just about time for bed. Love and Hugs Everyone!
No comments:
Post a Comment