Hospitals are so frustrating!

I am still waiting to hear on my claim with Sanford.  I have a letter dated January 23rd, 2015 that states that the claim should be wrapped up in roughly 45 days.  On March 30th I called and was told the end of the week.  On April 6th, I called and left a voice mail.  On April 7th, I got a call from an assistant saying it would be the end of the next week; around the 17th of April.  I called and left another message on April 20th.  On April 21st, I got a call from the lady working the claim.  She said that she was wrapping things up and drafting a letter that would go out by the weeks' end and if I had questions I could call her.  Well, I had plenty of questions but I was alone in the office due to vacations and a family emergency and it was the day before Earth Day and if you know anything about recycling then you know that my phones are insane.  Crud!! I couldn't talk to her and had to hurry the call up.  I was so bummed.  It is now April 29th and so far I haven't seen a damn thing!  It has been 68 days since her letter-business days, mind you.  If I counted weekends, we would be looking at over 3 months!  I should have just gotten my own damn lawyer.

Every day I deal with this mess in some way.  I see the ugly scars.  I randomly throw up.  Thank goodness I am starting to recognize that feeling.  Water makes it SO much worse.  No clue why.  Then there is the "I don't dare pass gas unless I am in the bathroom" issue.  I still have issues with fruits and veggies.  I can't eat them both in the same day or the problem I just mentioned is really bad.  My hip is crazy painful and needs to be replaced but I can't do it because I had to use up all my short term PTO for the mess last fall!    And last but definitely not least is the issue of my clothing vs my scars.  I hate wearing jeans.  Jeans are the worst but almost all clothes hurt my scars.  I get to wear jeans on Fridays at work and I used to love that.  I dread it now.  I went out and had to buy all new dress pants for work because everything hurts.  I have to swap out different kinds of clothing.  I can't wear the same style pants more than 2 days in a row or my entire belly feels bruised even though it isn't.  I have pull on yoga style pants, dress pants, jeans, elastic waist skirts.   I found low ride dress pants with wide waist bands and I still can't wear them more than 2 days in a row.  It's getting to be summer so I can wear more skirts and I bought a few of those too.  There went another few hundred dollars!

Can you see my frustration!!!  I am fed up with all of these things.  It sucks to think I am never going to be done and have to deal with being uncomfortable every darn day! Every day there will be something.

In a desperate attempt to move forward, I did get my tattoo.  It took around an hour and yes, it hurt like hell!  He had set aside 2 hours for me because he thought I would need breaks being it is such a painful area to tattoo.  He obviously doesn't know me.  After going through what I have gone through and continue to go through, all without pain meds, I am a rock star! The writing is Rylee's handwriting.  I couldn't have gotten through all of this without her.  Paul, my artist, reversed it so I could see it and read it every day in the mirror.  It is on the left side of my stomach; on the other side of the scar divide that goes down the center of my belly from the ileostomy scar that is on my right side.

Not the greatest pictures, but then I never said I was a photographer.  =^P  If you want more infor on my artist, check out the link on the right named 46and2 Tattoo.
This first picture is what I see.  This is the mirror image of it.

This picture is what you would see if you looked at it.

So far, in the big picture of all of this and not counting the wonderful people in my life, this is the only thing that has brought me any joy.  It is a beautiful reminder that I lived.  I have heard both my husband and my daughter talk about how they almost lost me and it is unnerving.  It is one thing to know it.  It is completely different to hear someone you love say it out loud.  Very unsettling, upsetting and generally hard to get past.  This is to show me that I CAN get past this because I am still here and I am one tough chick!

I may just call a lawyer tomorrow to ask a few questions and see what my options are. 

Count your blessings, my friends.  Especially the small ones. Some days they are hard to see, but they are always there.