I got thru another week

I am still not doing well at the blog thing.  After I let it slip I am having a hard time disciplining myself again. 

I have always thought that I am an emotional eater.  It is official.  I am.  My aunt Mary has been battling cancer for a while and it has been stable, not growing anyway.  That was as of 8/10 anyhow.  Two weeks later she is in the hospital, the cancer has gone nuts and they have called in Hospice.  No matter how many veggies I ate, I could not find satisfation.  I finally made a frozen pizza, doctored it up with meat and cheese, read the label to see what the carbs were and had some.  It did the trick.  I was thoroughly sad but at least I could stop grazing thru the kitchen.

So on that note, I noticed that my life is incredibly petty.  My aunt Mary is sick and still I worry about me.   I spend a lot of time and energy thinking about me.  I know that I was worse when I was younger but I thought I had outgrown it.  And to some extent, I guess I have, but it is still there.  The pettiness sneaks out a few times a day and I think about how something will or can benefit me.  Me, me, me!   Even this blog!  All about ME! 

This month I start doing things for others.  And yes, I will benefit too, but that is just the side effect.  For example, this is going to be an incredibly busy month for fundraising for Ry's dance team.  I am going to donate many hours to the team.  Also it is the start of confirmation.  I have signed on for a three year stint as a guide.  Yep, gonna try that role model thing again.  I met so many wonderful kids when I was at Peace Lutheren and those kids have grown into young adults and many have stayed in touch with me.  Golden!  I beam with pride at who they have become and can't believe that I still play a small role in their lives.  Makes me feel like I did something right somewhere along the way.  I am going to see if another group of kids can have the same effect on me.  You can never give too much love, right? 

In the meantime, I am going to pray for the health of all of my family and friends.  I will pray that Aunt Mary finds peace.  I will  pray that my kids follow their own paths and not do what others think they should.  I will pray that the people around me know that I love them and I will try to say it more often in case they don't. 

On that note I'm going to leave you all for the night.
Love ya!