Tuesday, September 15, 2015

Disgruntled But Thankful

I am feeling a little disgruntled.  I can not lose weight.  I have been drinking green tea--brewed myself- for weeks and a ton of water.  I have lowered my carbs and portion sizes-I haven't eliminated anything- and have increased my veggie intake by a lot!!  Almost all of my snacks now involve a tomato or cucumber.  I haven't lost anything!  Last night for supper my hubby wanted pizza subs.  I made mine with fresh tomatoes, pepperoni, green olives and cheese.  I ate only half and put the other half in the fridge for tonight.  Could I have eaten the whole thing?  Hell yes!  But my brain was stronger than my stomach so I won out.  My guilty pleasure last night: 2 M&M's.  Yep, 2.  And lunch was a tomato and some cottage cheese.  So why can't I lose weight?!?!

I tossed around the idea that my body is afraid I am going to starve it again and won't let go of anything.  I am pulling out that thought again.  I made a doctor appointment for Fri afternoon to get an opinion from someone who knows more than I do on that topic.  I could be on to something or I could be barking up the wrong tree.  I am, don't get me wrong, VERY happy to be relatively healthy. I will never forget what it was like to not have the energy to get a glass of water or take the dog out. That was a very dark time and I am grateful that I am past it.

I have a couple other things going on in my life right now, that I really want to talk about but are of a more private nature.  I'll touch on the self help things I have been doing.  It's no secret that I have been studying the book "You Can Heal Your Life".  I love it.  It has become increasingly easier to think of positives before the negatives lately and I credit the book for helping me change the way that I think. I even did a couple of classes of sorts.  They were on conference calls and we all listened in. I did 2 weeks of them so far.  Very enlightening.   She talks about using your intuition and of Spirit.  Spirit is whatever higher power you believe in.  For me that would be God and judging from her talk, I would have to say it is for her as well.  She said something that stuck with me and I'm not sure why.  She said that we all pray or talk with Spirit and ask for help but what we don't think of are the thousands of angels at our disposal that we never talk to or ask for help from.  Again, I don't know why that stuck with me.  I have never asked angels for help, support, guidance or love.  So now when I pray, I pray to my Divine Team.  My own personalized team of God, Jesus, Holy Spirit, loved ones past and any angels who may be listening.  I have so much more peace.  It seems silly, I know.  I told you these were of a more private nature so no laughing at me!  Every day I ask for support, guidance and love from my Divine Team and I thank them for the previous days support, guidance and love.  I tell them my goals of bringing more positive thoughts into my life and ridding myself of negative behaviors, habits and thinking and ask them for their help with those.  I feel better!  Give it a try if you feel inclined to do so.  That's why I am sharing this one, because it is too good to keep to myself.

In the middle of all of these classes and study, I popped open my email and there was a groupon thing for Reiki.  I have heard of it.  I think I thought of it as maybe a little hokey.  I bought it and tried it because I figured it was out in front of me for a reason.  I didn't go looking for it, it came to me. I was having a bad day, pain wise, and limped in.  I laid on her table and she did her thing.  If you don't know what Reiki is, this is what the International Center for Reiki Training says:  "Reiki is a Japanese technique for stress reduction and relaxation that also promotes healing. It is administered by "laying on hands" and is based on the idea that an unseen "life force energy" flows through us and is what causes us to be alive. If one's "life force energy" is low, then we are more likely to get sick or feel stress, and if it is high, we are more capable of being happy and healthy."  You really feel nothing.  It was like I was resting and she held her hands a few inches above me and occasionally rested them on me.  If I concentrated, I thought it felt like waves lapping at me but that may have been my imagination.  Either way, I walked out with no pain and a few other 'good' things fell into my lap in the next 24 hours.  I still don't know how I feel about it but I can definitely say that it doesn't hurt to keep an open mind and a positive attitude and try new things.  I am still reeling from the other opportunities that came into my world and hopefully in a few weeks, I can talk about those too.

We took the houseboat out of the lake this year.  It was so smooth!!  I had 'worse case scenarios' running through my head and none of them even remotely came true!!  The one thing I hadn't thought of was the trailer fishtailing out of control during the haul. Thankfully, Jim is a seasoned hauler and didn't lose control of the whole thing.  Now he can get the pontoons cleaned up like he wants and then get them repainted.  Might be our chance to replace a board here and there also.  But with the boat out, lake season is officially over.  Makes me a little sad.  The muskrats were especially active this weekend as were the chipmunks.  I don't know who gets startled more, us or them!  I may have even caught a glimpse of my otter splashing on the shoreline of the other point.  When the guys all left to take the pontoon out, I sat out on my dock in the sun one last time.  I do love that little backyard of mine.  While sitting, I tried to list all the wildlife that is back there.  Dragonflies, Swallows, Red-wing Blackbirds, Loons, Ducks, Geese, Herons, Sunfish, Bullheads, Bass, Box Turtles, Snapping Turtles, Muskrats, Frogs, Otter, Beaver, and the occasional Eagle or Osprey overhead.  This weekend I actually saw a snake leave our side of the bay and swim across to the other side!!  I watched him until I lost him among the lily pads.  While very cool, I did find it a little unnerving.  You expect fish and turtles in the water but a snake?!  

I am going to sign off for now.  Be thankful for everything in your life.  Find the hidden message if you can and keep thinking positive!!  Love and Hugs!

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