My journey

I haven't posted lately because I have been on a mission.  Well, a couple of them really.  We will start with health since that is what this blog is supposed to be about.

So I am still gaining weight.  I have given up on the green tea.  I am still watching what I eat and trying to be conscious  of how much water I am drinking.  I finally went to the doctor who told me that my genetics are against me and that after being starved, my body will not be happy until it has hit the highest weight I have ever been.  Sadly that's only 10 pounds away but I don't want to get there!  My hip is shot and I can't exercise a lot due to the pain.  I am still walking the dog every morning and have started a small tai chi program but no weight loss.  I might try Complete Nutrition and see if there is something there that can jump start my metabolism.  So that's one journey.

The other journey has to do with my inner struggles.  In the past I have said that I am not happy with myself and I have mentioned that I have taken self help classes and am studying a book. So, update on that whole thing.  I have been trying to banish negatives and increase the positives.  I have been praying to my Divine Team more and more. I have been praying for support, love and guidance and letting the universe know that I am open to change and open to all he good and abundance that the universe has to offer.  I prayed for my job and said that I would work honestly for bosses that were good and that I was fortunate and grateful to be working.  In the meantime, I had been applying all over town for different positions.  The day I started praying for my job, I started getting calls for interviews.4 in one week!!!  One interview went so well that I thought it couldn't be true.  I must have done something wrong.  It went so smooth!!  I had an answer for every question and I really liked the 2 ladies interviewing me.  But we live in a "if it seems to good to be true than it probably is" world and so while I hoped, I told myself it wouldn't happen.  I got 2nd interviews and then a phone call!!  It came on a Monday morning and the interview that went so well wanted to hire me!!   I was elated!!  I said yes immediately!!  So pumped!!  During this whole process I realized that part of my esteem problem was my job.  You can only be talked down to and made to feel dumb and worthless for so long before you start to believe it.  Upper management treats you like you like you don't matter; as if you are replaceable and they have no concern for you. You start to believe it.  No, my bosses weren't horrible people-at all.  They are good people who have lost site of how to treat others.  Now I see it and I feel sorry for them.  They will always have turn over in that business because they treat that certain business as if they are second class citizens and they make them feel unaccounted for; not supported.  I gave my notice and started my new job 2 days ago.  So far, I love it.  I work in the front desk at a CPA firm. I am learning but the ladies have been super helpful and very, very friendly.  I am still very new but I feel good about this place. I hope I have found the place I am going to retire from! 

I also have to tell you about this event I go to every year with my girlfriends.  It is called Pin Up on the Plains.  We did the standing room only the first year and decided to get a table the second year.  Loved it so much we got a table again. It ends up being expensive but is so empowering!  There are no men allowed.  It is only women.  The past 2 years they have had fashion shows with everyday women. Not models.  This year they put out a casting call and anyone could try out to be a model.  My friend Carly did it and got a call back!!!  Those of us who know Carly see her beauty and her grace.  I have to tell you that she was so incredibly beautiful that she literally glowed!!!   She seemed happier and more alive than ever!  I don't think I could ever have the courage to go on stage in my underwear and I couldn't be more proud of her for just doing it!  She was amazing and I think it was good for her.  Cant wait for next year!

I'm not done with this journey, I even have a retreat scheduled in a couple weeks. I will be a better me even if I'm not thinner!  Love those around you and recognize the little things that make you happy.